


Debut Performance

by Syntaxeme



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Dancing, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Gem Fusion, Internal Conflict, Introspection, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 14:10:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21411469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syntaxeme/pseuds/Syntaxeme
Summary: The first formation of Sardonyx.Sometime in the early days of the war, the Crystal Gems are discussing the topic of fusion, a discussion that Rose is extensively participating in. Garnet and Pearl, who are left out of the conversation, end up starting a conversation of their own, one that doesn't want to be kept a secret.
Relationships: Garnet & Pearl (Steven Universe), Garnet/Pearl (Steven Universe)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 71





	Debut Performance

**Author's Note:**

> I definitely think of this as Pearlnet--or the beginnings thereof, at least--but the shippy elements are actually pretty minor, jsyk.

Aside from Garnet, Rainbow Quartz was the most commonly-seen fusion among the Crystal Gems. Rose often used her as an example for those who were still unfamiliar or uncomfortable with the idea of cross-gem fusion, and Pearl was delighted to help. If only the others had known how strange a combination it really was: a Diamond fusing with a Pearl! Still, she enjoyed the experience of being Rainbow—her confidence, her regality, her significance—too much to protest it.

It had been roughly three centuries since the formation of the Crystal Gems, and Rose had taken to the role of rebellion leader surprisingly well. It seemed that approaching other gems as if she were their equal (as _if_) made it easier for her to get through to them, and more gems defected from Homeworld all the time to join their forces. Although Pearl remained her closest and most trusted confidante, Rose insisted that the best way to prove she cared for her followers was to personally befriend each and every one. Pearl had some difficulty on that front.

On yet another day during the war, while Rose was demystifying the concept of fusion for a group of newly-recruited Crystal Gems, Pearl stood by in silence, waiting, as usual, to demonstrate. The scent of strawberries floated through the air, and although she was still horrified by the notion of consuming them, Pearl admittedly found that part pleasant.

“Don’t be afraid,” Rose was saying. “I know you’ve all been taught that there are rules about these things, but if you were interested in following the Diamonds’ rules, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

An uneasy laugh ran through the group. This was completely unfamiliar territory for most, so they had no idea where to begin. Rose pressed on, refusing to be deterred, “It’s an experience you owe it to yourselves to explore. It can be so beautiful—just look at Garnet!” And they did, and Garnet shifted on her feet some distance away, pretending not to feel all their eyes on her. But what reason did she have to be nervous? _Rose_ was praising her!

Over the years, Garnet had grown to know herself better and, for lack of a better word, matured. Her responsibilities as part of the fledgling rebellion had turned her somewhat stoic, but she was fiercely devoted to the cause, especially when it came to the subject of fusion. She was competent and capable, much more so than one would expect, knowing one of her components was a noble who had never seen battle before. But Pearl couldn’t claim to understand what went on in her mind, as they were both a bit withdrawn.

“Let me show you,” Rose told the others, and Pearl brightened as she realized this was her cue. However, instead of calling on her, Rose asked one of the recruits to volunteer instead. She didn’t even glance in Pearl’s direction. A dark-haired Shungite took a step forward from the group and hesitantly offered to try fusing with Rose. Pearl could feel herself glaring, overcome with jealousy despite knowing she had no right. The same feeling burned in her stomach every time Rose fused with someone other than her.

Pearl had yet to fuse with anyone else herself. Not that she didn’t trust her comrades, but she wasn’t fully comfortable sharing with any of them that closely. Rose had no such reservations; she was so eager for new experiences that she happily attempted fusion with any Crystal Gem who was interested. As Pearl watched, Rose smiled broadly at the gem who had volunteered and took her hand to lead her closer. She explained the concept of a dance to help synchronize wills, a concept inspired by Garnet’s experience.

The Shungite was stiff and clearly nervous as Rose led her, but with every step and every turn, she seemed to relax more. Easy to do so when someone with authority was taking the lead. There was a glow, a shifting of forms—and Pearl fought back a smug sense of satisfaction when the would-be fusion came apart within seconds. Rose and her partner both fell to the ground, laughing and cringing in embarrassment, respectively.

“It was a good try!” Rose said encouragingly, getting to her feet to help the other up as well. “But you felt it, didn’t you? There’s no other way to connect with another gem that deeply.”

“I-I did,” the Shungite admitted bashfully, her cheeks flushed. “It was…could we try again?”

“Of course! You should really all give it a try,” their leader insisted. It seemed that the attempt had caught the interest of the others, which meant Rose’s attention was thoroughly occupied. As much as Pearl wanted to think she might be asked for a _proper_ demonstration, that hope was quickly dwindling as Rose seemed to move farther and farther away.

“You always hang back when she does this,” a familiar voice noted. She looked up to find that Garnet had closed the distance between them and was watching her thoughtfully, head cocked to one side.

“Well, if I’m not needed, I’m not needed.” She didn’t want to admit how much the sentiment stung. “Besides, she’s here for their benefit at the moment. I already know what fusion is like, so I don’t—” Garnet interrupted with a brief laugh, and Pearl frowned. “What?”

“You said you ‘know what fusion is like,’ as if you’ve ever fused with anyone besides Rose. Rainbow Quartz might be a big personality, but she’s still only one possible outcome.”

“No one can know what it’s like to fuse with _everyone_,” Pearl answered defensively. Though at this rate, it seemed Rose might find out. “Besides, aren’t you the same? You’ve only ever been one fusion yourself.”

Garnet nodded slowly, conceding that she had a point. Glancing toward the group, all of whom were absorbed in their own conversations and ignoring the two of them, she went on casually, “Everyone else is practicing. Maybe we should too.”

“We…you mean…” Pearl cleared her throat nervously, eyes dropping to the ground by reflex. “You mean the two of us? Fuse?”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to.”

Frankly, she wasn’t sure whether she did or not. Of all the Crystal Gems, Rose excluded, Garnet was the one she had known the longest, yet she still couldn’t claim to know her very _well_. Would this help in that respect? Or should she refuse on those grounds?

“I didn’t even know you could. Since you’re already…”

“If groups of the same gem can fuse, why not groups of different gems?” Garnet reasoned. “Only one way to find out for sure.”

How could she be so calm about this? Did she not see it as meaningful? No, that was impossible, knowing who she was. For that matter— “Why me?”

“I know you.” As she so rarely did, very slightly, Garnet smiled. “I think we’d work well together.” Well, when she put it that way, how could Pearl not be flattered by the suggestion? She had to wonder exactly what Garnet thought she would bring to a fusion; she was just a Pearl, after all, not radiant and flawless like a Diamond, not powerful and self-assured like a Quartz. But the more she thought about it, the more she was curious as to what the experience might be like.

“Well. It wouldn’t hurt to try, I suppose.”

“Let’s go, then.” As Garnet started toward the warp pad, she balked.

“Wait, go where? I can’t leave. If Rose needs me…” She glanced toward the group, and a surge of sharp discomfort shot through her as she realized that Rose had succeeded in fusing with that Shungite while they’d been talking. The result was a solid, broad-shouldered fusion with violet skin and waves of wild black hair. She truly looked like the polar opposite of Rainbow Quartz, and worse, she looked so very happy with herself.

“She’ll probably be busy a while,” Garnet said, drawing Pearl back to their conversation. “We won’t be gone long.” She offered her hand, but Pearl declined to take it, instead striding past her toward the warp pad without a word. She wondered whether anyone even noticed when they warped away from the field.

Garnet brought her to a cave she had only visited rarely in the past, a former Homeworld reconnaissance post, which they had captured decades ago. The room was dimly lit, the walls studded with the inanimate Earth-formed crystals that had always puzzled her. But it was quiet, isolated, and there was plenty of room.

“So,” Pearl began, wandering away from the pad and into the open space of the cave. “How should we start?”

“Probably here.” Garnet took her hand and gave her a twirl, then pulled her close. This felt too similar to the way she danced with Rose, but she tried to put the thought out of her head, letting her free hand rest gingerly on Garnet’s shoulder.

“Is this the same sort of dance the two of you—er, Ruby and Sapphire—” She stopped herself as she realized it wasn’t really her business.

“Not quite.” Garnet didn’t seem to mind the question, leading her two steps forward and one step back, surprisingly steady for someone who hadn’t done this before. “Let’s say they have a different style. They aren’t as light on their feet as you are. Neither am I.”

“I think you’re doing fine.” Surprisingly, she meant it. Garnet led confidently, skillfully, as if she’d done this hundreds of times before. She was the sort of partner Pearl needed, the sort she could trust to direct her. They spun across the floor as a pair, and then Garnet led her into a series of pirouettes, which she executed flawlessly.

“You could do these with your eyes closed, couldn’t you?” Garnet noted.

“If you want,” Pearl replied by reflex. Upon realizing she’d responded the same way she might to Rose, she lost her footing and stumbled—but Garnet took the slip in stride and caught her around her waist again.

“I’m trying to say it’s impressive.”

Despite herself, Pearl could feel her cheeks warming with…what? Embarrassment? Bashfulness? “Ahem. Thank you.” She noticed the very soft glow coming from Garnet’s hands and realized they should probably already have fused. The dancing didn’t normally last more than a few seconds. Yet even as she willed it, it didn’t happen. Though their bodies might have been in sync—very well, in fact!—their intentions weren’t. Why was this so difficult for her?

“You’re trying too hard,” Garnet said, as if she’d read Pearl’s thoughts. Did she have telepathy along with her future vision? Or maybe she could feel that the tension in Pearl’s body had changed. “Relax.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You have more practice with this than anyone.”

“Practice being a fusion, maybe. But when it comes to _fusing_, you have more experience than I do.”

Oh. She hadn’t thought of it that way. Now as she did, although Garnet’s steps were still just as confident, Pearl could feel the tentative shift in her grasp, could imagine her eyes darting nervously to keep track of every turn. Somehow, that made her more comfortable. Another turn, a dip, and her hand slid from Garnet’s shoulder up to rest behind her neck instead. Her head tilted back to follow the motion, and there wasn’t a hint of instability in their stance; she felt they could hold the pose for hours and Garnet would never drop her. Stable. She liked that.

Lifting her head again, she saw another half-smile curving Garnet’s lips, and the warmth that had colored her cheeks transferred down to her chest instead. She hardly noticed the glow coming from her own gem, too focused on Garnet’s closeness, their matched breathing, the part of her lips—her lips? How _did_ she get so close?

“No,” Pearl said abruptly, breaking away from her partner and, in doing so, losing her stability. But collapsing to the dirt floor was better than…whatever else might have happened if they’d stayed so close. What on Earth was she thinking? It was only supposed to be fusion, but it had somehow become much more complicated. She shook her head vigorously as she sat up, trying to rid it of whatever ridiculous notions this dance had brought up. Just a dance. Just fusion. And with someone other than Rose. _What_ was she thinking?

Garnet sighed but didn’t demand an explanation, settling to the ground as well. Mercifully, she didn’t try to touch Pearl either. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you,” she said quietly.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Pearl answered, even though she wasn’t certain it was true. “I just…couldn’t.”

“It’s fine. Not everyone’s compatible.”

With a hint of bitterness, she muttered, “I think Rose would say otherwise.”

After a few seconds’ hesitation, Garnet replied, “I don’t agree with the way Rose talks about it.”

For a moment, shock overrode everything else Pearl was feeling, and she looked up in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe it’s not my place to argue. I’m the last person to put rules or restrictions on fusion,” Garnet said, waving away her visor so Pearl could see the turmoil in her eyes, “but ‘you owe it to yourself’? That doesn’t seem right to me. Fusion is such a concession, such an intimate thing to share with another gem. It’s not for everyone. The others shouldn’t feel like they have some obligation to open themselves up like that. ‘Why not?’ isn’t a good enough reason.”

As much as she hated to argue with any of Rose’s ideals, Pearl could certainly understand where Garnet was coming from. _Intimate._ Yes, that was a good word for it. That was the reason she couldn’t attempt it with just anyone, the reason it hurt so much to see Rose do it with someone else. But something about Garnet’s point bothered her.

“If that’s how you feel,” she began tentatively, “then why did you ask me—”

“We should probably get back,” Garnet said decisively, pushing up to her feet and holding out her hand. “The others will be wondering where we are.”

“Wait!” Though Pearl didn’t know why this mattered so much, why Garnet’s evasiveness bothered her, she needed an answer nevertheless. “If you feel like there should be a reason, if you don’t like the idea of doing it casually, then why did you bring it up to me?”

Again, Garnet sighed. “I told you: I think we’d work well together. We _do_ work well together. No one else feels as strongly about the rebellion as you do. No one else fights as hard. I see how passionate you are, how resolute and…graceful. And I want to share it,” she confessed. “But we tried, and it didn’t work out. I’m not going to make you try again for my sake.”

Pearl was silent for a moment, surprised to hear that there was any particular quality of hers that Garnet might envy. ‘Share’ was such a nice way of putting it. Garnet was right; they should go back to the field, back to standing at a distance from the group, at a distance from each other. She should go back to Rose’s side, back to waiting on her call.

Garnet’s hand was still outstretched, the gem in her palm still glowing very softly. Pearl reached out, hesitated, then took the hand and let Garnet pull her smoothly to her feet. The motion became momentum, the space between them disappeared, and the sensation of fusing was familiar but somehow entirely new.

**…**

The new fusion opened four bright brown eyes, somehow expecting a crowd but disappointed to find herself alone. But then, her self was nothing to sneeze at! She inspected her arms, first one pair, then the other, then twisted her torso a full 360 degrees around to observe herself from every angle.

“Well! Aren’t you _something_!” she declared, running two hands along her curves. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in one of the smooth panes of crystal along the wall and was fascinated by what she saw. Why, she’d never seen anything like her! To be fair, she hadn’t seen much of anything at all, but she had a feeling that she was outstanding regardless. And just who, exactly, was she? The extensive ar-tic-u-la-tion of her body was characteristic of an Onyx, but by looking at herself, she could tell she was no uniform, straitlaced Black Onyx. She was striated. She was exceptional! A lovely _Sard_onyx, then.

“Oh yes, that’s perfect. And what a wonderful introduction!” Yet there was no one to whom she could be introduced. That wouldn’t do. She was such a gift, such a spectacle. It would be plainly selfish to keep that to herself. A quick survey of the room showed her means of leaving, but as she started toward the warp pad, her legs wobbled, and she nearly collapsed. “Hmm. Perhaps we’ll need a bit of rehearsal before the debut.” She certainly wouldn’t want anyone to see her at less than her best. Wouldn’t want anyone questioning her worth.

Oh. Where had _that_ thought come from? Not her, certainly. She felt quite sure there was nothing about her to be questioned, and even if one were to try, the criticism wouldn’t have much weight. “Everyone’s a critic, after all.”

In order to make sure she had perfect control of herself and that her elegance wouldn’t be spoiled by clumsiness, Sardonyx began to slowly wander about the room, stumbling only occasionally but getting used to her own proportions. Her arms were another matter entirely, all independent of one another and without any natural dominant set.

That was something to note, she thought as she was pacing and gesturing and observing her own lengthy limbs. No dominant side. The gem in the center of her forehead. The gems in the palms of her top set of hands. All her little pieces, all beautifully meshed. Stable. She thoughtfully swept one hand through the air before her, conjuring a trail of glittering sparks through the air. _Magical._ Another descriptor to add to her collection, and she knew it was unique to her alone.

Alone. That word again. Lonely, in fact, despite the largeness of her own presence. She _needed_ the attention an audience could provide, needed to impress someone; otherwise, she was sure to waste away into misery. As she started toward the warp pad again, now fully in control of her body and willing to figure everything else out along the way, something in her said to wait. Said this was too soon, that she needed more time to learn who she was before she could be shown to others. But she could easily enough brush that thought aside with the assurance that there was no _possible_ way anyone would be disappointed with her.

Instinct told her where to warp, where a crowd would be waiting, and she found herself in a sunny field scattered with bushes, all of which bore several bright red strawberries. A beautiful place, a perfect place to perform! Yet when she went looking, she didn’t find the group she expected. That was odd. Some part of her mind had been quite certain they would be there. Instead, she found only a single figure—though a remarkable one, to be sure. An important first impression to make.

“Rose!” she called, eager for whatever socialization she could get.

When the gem’s eyes fell on her, they grew wide and starry. “A fusion,” she breathed, rightfully amazed by the beauty that was Sardonyx. “But who…” Her eyes roamed every inch of Sardonyx’s impressive shape, and she realized too late that her clothing was in quite a state of disarray. Why, she was a pure chromatic nightmare, a garish mess of plum and peach. How embarrassing. Well, never mind. This performance could still be saved.

“I’ll give you three guesses,” Sardonyx said with an impish smile, holding up two hands beside her face so that all three of her gems were clearly visible, “and the first two don’t count!” She could hardly help but laugh at her own wit.

“Garnet! And…Pearl?” Rose sounded incredulous, hardly able to believe what she was seeing. Again, Sardonyx felt a tug of distress, an insistence that she was being too brash about this and should hold back. Again, she pushed it aside. “But they never mentioned… When did this happen? Have they—have you been around before?”

“Oh no, you could say this is their first time taking me for a spin,” she chuckled, striking a pose and giving a full twist of her torso while Rose looked on in amazement. A good thing she’d practiced that trick before this meeting. “_I_ am Sardonyx, and I’m so very pleased to meet you, Rose Quartz.”

“Are you kidding? The pleasure is all mine,” Rose laughed breathlessly. “You’re amazing! I never would’ve expected that the two of them would form someone like you.”

“Well, I am chock full of surprises~” Without knowing where the impulse came from, Sardonyx reached up to the gem on her forehead and withdrew a bouquet of pink roses to present them to the Crystal Gems’ fearless leader with a deep bow. Seeing her smile truly was a delight—but Sardonyx still felt something was missing. Was this all she was there for? To entertain a single gem? Of course, being herself was a delight, but without purpose, she found herself growing restless.

“Is something wrong?” Rose must have noticed her dejection.

“Not at all!” Was it a lie or simply an act? She preferred the latter. “But I shouldn’t stay for too long. I have to keep a few tricks up my sleeve so that I can surprise you with them later.”

“You can’t stay? But I want to know everything about you! You’re the first three-gem fusion I’ve seen!”

Something about that statement bothered her. Sardonyx was a combination of Garnet and Pearl. Two gems. Actually, not a combination so much as… Oh, the logistics were exhausting, really.

“Now now, there will be plenty of time for us to get to know each other in the future,” she chided playfully. “The next time you have need of me and my many talents, you’ll know who to call.”

She felt fully in control of herself. She wasn’t coming apart at the seams, as it were. But she also felt that she’d been there long enough, that her scene was over, so to speak. And she fully meant it when she said she would be back. Now that she’d made her debut, it wouldn’t be long before they were clamoring for an encore.

**…**

It took a moment for Pearl to reorient herself once she and Garnet separated. And the first thing she saw was Rose’s beaming face.

“Pearl! Garnet! That was incredible!” their leader gushed. “Why didn’t you tell me you were planning to fuse? I wish I could’ve seen the whole thing!”

“It was…sort of unexpected,” Garnet lied quietly, already standing while Pearl was still reeling from the shift. She started to offer a hand, but Rose easily swept Pearl up off the ground and set her on her feet, forcing her to remain upright.

“How do you feel?” Rose asked, looking her over with blatant curiosity. “How was it different from being Rainbow Quartz? Your Sardonyx was awfully charming. Will you form her again sometime?”

Pearl’s head only just stopped buzzing as Rose’s string of questions ended, and she managed a smile—though she was now very aware of how insincere it must look. “Another time, maybe. She was a bit draining.” In fact, it was sort of the opposite; Pearl was dizzy with energy after their stint as Sardonyx. And she could hardly keep her eyes off Garnet.

The experience wasn’t at all what she expected. It wasn’t at all like being Rainbow. It was more agency, more partnership than leadership. And they had only unfused by Sardonyx’s decision. Most of the time, she and Rose could only hold Rainbow for a short period before they fell apart, but Sardonyx was almost shockingly stable, despite being so dramatic.

Dramatic. Desperate for attention. Confident to the point of cockiness. An eager performer. Lovely, she’d called herself. Magical. Sardonyx was such an incredible experience that Pearl could hardly process all her elements. And she strongly wished she could have this moment with Garnet _alone_ so that they could discuss what had just happened between themselves. For the first time, Pearl wished that Rose were not there.

And she immediately felt horribly guilty for the thought. How dare she be anything but grateful for the attention of her Diamond—no, of the brilliant Rose Quartz? How dare she traitorously think of anyone else being in the same position, even someone as impressive as Garnet? No, the conflicting feelings were too much to confront at the moment. Too much to examine.

It would be some time before she and Garnet talked about their feelings toward Sardonyx, even longer before they actually formed her again. However, from that day forward, she saw Garnet in a different light. Understood her a bit better. Saw her as not only a compatriot, not only a comrade, but as someone who could one day be a leader—under Rose’s supervision, of course, but still a rightful source of authority.

Pearl could imagine following her, looking to her for support, being comforted by her presence. She could also imagine other things, but she refused to acknowledge any of them. Those thoughts and feelings should be reserved for Rose alone, she knew, and as long as Rose was around, she wouldn’t allow herself to pursue them elsewhere.


End file.
